First impressions last forever. Avoiding these first date mistakes will help you get off on the right foot.
No Time to Talk
Too many first dates are planned around activities where talking is difficult. For example, dinner and a movie is a very popular first date idea.
However, first dates should be all about getting to know the person you’re dating. After all, that’s the only way to determine whether or not a second date is a good idea.
So, ditch the big screen and loud bars, and opt for something more conversation-friendly.
Talking Too Much About Yourself
It’s natural to want to talk about yourself. It’s something you know a lot about… But, focusing too much on yourself can be a bad first date mistake. You may start to seem egotistical or uninterested in your date.
So, if you find yourself blabbering on endlessly about some term paper you wrote as an undergrad, consider steering the conversation in a more inclusive direction.
Over planning / Obsessing
You probably already know if your personality tends in this direction… But, a first date is not a good time to obsess over details.
An over planned date can make it seem as though you’re trying too hard, or just a tight ass by nature. Keep in mind the general structure of the date, but try to let it flow as naturally as possible, being open to spontaneity and imperfection.
Focusing on Your Baggage
A first date is not the best time to dwell on your problems. This may seem obvious, but it’s pretty easy to slip into this without really realizing it.
The biggest mistake to avoid is talking too much about your recent ex. You’ll come off as though you’re still too tied up in your old relationship to enjoy a new one.
Misreading Physical Gestures
On a first date, it’s important to be able to read into physical flirtations accurately. Too many people, mainly guys, are terrible at this.
If a girl is not reciprocating physical gestures, then it’s important to back off a little. She might not feel comfortable yet, so don’t kill your chances at a second date by asking her back to your place when the signals aren’t there.
But, don’t be blind to your date’s positive flirtations. Too many kisses never make it to the first date because the guy forgot to notice that things are going well.
Treating the Date Like a Job Interview
A first date is all about getting to know someone. However, you got to do your best to keep the date from sounding like the inquisition.
Ask questions that will foster a nice conversation, and avoid the long laundry list of questions you’re over-protective roommate prepared for you. Here is a great list of First Date Questions that will encourage lively, interesting conversation.
Trying Too Hard to Impress
Over impressing is an easy first date mistake to make. It’s natural to want to try and impress on a first date. After all, that is sort of the point.
But, it’s best to avoid reciting endlessly your various accomplishments and talents. It’s just not attractive.
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t talk about recent success or your good qualities. But, it’s much more effective to mention them in an appropriate context, and only briefly unless your date is actively curious.
Comments are closed.